Part 2

Sometimes I think that life has a score card and that you are only allowed so much good at one time. Like just when you think things may turn life says, " Here take that!"

Ah where to begin... So yesterday all started with the carpool shuffle. Had to drive pretty far for the interviews, I have yet another bad tire on my car, and the Jeep sucks up gas like its a cheap wine. So the result was that I decided I would borrow my parents car.

So my daughter drove me to my parents before she headed off to school. Then I went to Wal-mart with them bought some Easter Basket stuff then headed back home to get ready for my interview...

1.) Half way there I remember that crap, I do not have my house key. So turn around head over to the school to call her out of class to bring me my key.

Ok so crisis averted heading back home to get ready. So I go about my business of getting ready. I save putting on my brand new shirt I bought for the interview until last, because I didn't want to get anything on it and wouldn't ya know...

2.) Shirt looks great on me, good color, great fit everywhere except for over the boobs! So if I wanted to give the prospective employer a show it would have been great. That is the trouble with button down shirts and big boobs. So yeah now its about 1130 my interview is at 100 an hour away and I have NOTHING to wear! So I had to go to Wal-mart, which is 16 miles away, look for a suitable replacement shirt that was the same price as the one I was returning and wait in a long line for the one person behind the counter to help me.

Ok so crisis averted... its 1215 I have 45 minutes to get there. Beware of the speed cameras placed everywhere, but try and make up some time with the 10 over rule. I head out to the interview. Lovely drive, not as far away as I had thought, but still pretty far away... 56 miles from door to door.

So I get there with 5 minutes to spare, have to wait for her anyway, but all good. Interview went great. Position is exactly what I was looking for, she said she is excited about hiring a new grad. But of course there are many applicants for this one position. But she will place my application at the top and call me back for a second interview if all goes well and there isn't someone with way more experience plus my wonderful attitude. The start would be mid April. Also Perfect for me. I am hoping that once the other applicants hear the hours, the days of the week, and the prospect of having to get a new job in a year or three, many will look else where. So it'd be every Sat,Sun,Mon,Tue 10p to 6a, which is considered full-time c benefits and all. (The person in the position now was called to Active Duty Deployment with his reserve unit) It'd be $19 an hour with a raise of $1.00 after a year, full benefits after 30 days. Not too shabby as a starting wage. If by chance he comes back in a year I won't feel guilty about leaving with since then I would have that all important "MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE YEARS EXPERIENCE", on my side. Plus if its 3 years I will be finished with my BSN and moving on anyway. The job is on a sub-acute behavioral/psych unit with a dementia locked wing as well. I'd have 1 hall of 30 and the other nurse would have the other hall of 30. Pretty much meds, accuchecks and insulins. Totally what I had expected and want.

So I head off to two other locations, meet and great type things, drop off some resumes and fill out their applications and head home because I need to fax over my CPR,TB,ID,IV Cert, Nursing License ( I can't believe I said Nursing License... hehe)

So I am driving home...

3.) Speeding ticket from the damn Tribal Police!! $186 or traffic school! (which is probably the same damn price... but no points) Honestly I have never borrowed this particular car before and it had a weird speedometer and I was just cruising along, I noticed I was going 80 so I started to slow down but I guess 75 in the 65 was when the short little fucker got me.

Ahhh wonderful... so heading back to the house again, obeying ALL of the posted speeds this time. I found all my paperwork, with some searching for the TB, who'd have thought it would be in my Nursing text book, lol, so I change my shoes into something less pinching and high and .....

4.) SPLAT!! One of the damn dogs got sick and there was runny dog shit right next to my bed. Not only did I step in it with 1 foot but with both. Plus since the makers of pants for chubby people think all chubby people are also tall, hem of my new pants was dipped in the shit too.

So I changed the pants, washed the shoes, cleaned the nasty pile of poo and headed out to go and get that faxing out of the way... and return the demon car! I called hubby to pick me up at my folks house on his way home from work.

So I get there alls good, talked to my parents about the interview,showed off how cute I looked in new top with new necklace, sent the fax, wrote up a thank you letter to include with the fax, then I picked up the mail that was sitting on the buffet in the dining room ( still haven't changed over all my addresses so I still get mail at the folks house)...

5.) " We regret to inform you that your car insurance has been canceled for nonpayment of premium as of 3/15/10" WTF????

What do you mean canceled? I just got that policy on 2/8/10, paid for the month and did not get a bill and was told when I sent in my signed policy that I would be getting a bill soon. I have been driving, we all have been driving, without insurance for weeks! Whatever happened to a warning letter, hell whatever happened to the bill? Plus the insurance company had my new address it was on the f'ing new paperwork I sent to them.

Ok.. so drive really carefully home, take the back road to avoid the the tribal police who are everywhere today! Said tribal police are on the back roads too of course. Pull over for two Sheriff's department cars to pass, thank God not for us, & Make it home....

6.) Dog ate my brand new shoes... the ones I was going to return tomorrow (today) because they were too pinchy and too tight. (Good thing they were only Wal-mart $11.00 pumps and not Jimmy's or something.) Of course he ate everything else in site too, roll of toilet paper, a roll paper towels, my flip-flops & a box of crackers I bought yesterday that my son had eaten 90% of and left the rest on the end table.

Hubby, the boy, and I cleaned up the mess... as I started to fix supper I opened the cabinet to find a pan and there was the bottle staring me in the face.... I figured... what the heck...

So 9 shots of Patron later.... I had a really good night!!

Take 9 Patron shots....

And post about it in the morning...

I gots an Interview....

Oh My God!!!


So nervous. Ok so I really hit the proverbal pavement when I found out that I passed my NCLEX I must have sent in 20-30 resumes between the jobbing.com, indeed.com and simplyhired.com sites. I also did a search and downloaded a list of every single Nursing Home in my state, because let's face it, Nursing homes are the place for LPN's, even if I would someday much prefer the inside of an OR ( Guess you know where I'll be trying for once I get my RN), so anyway, I submitted my resume to every single site that was accepting resumes and some that said RN, LPN, CNA 's always welcome to apply.

Just as I was about to post that I had not heard from one yet. I was called by one!! Woot!

Ok so it's only the first interview, and the odds of getting it... well I can sure hope! But I am excited that someone wanted to meet with me even though the words New Grad were on my cover letter.

Wish me luck!!

Woot!

I have lost.......






11 pounds in a month!!




So if I can manage to lose about the same... which is a pretty healthy drop... then I can possibly manage to keep it going and keep it off!!


Baby steps... at least something to be happy about!

No Rest for the Weary...

So onto the job search. Of course that is easier said then done. Plus I still have classes right now and RN school applications to worry about.

Not to mention a marriage hovering precariously over the toilet.



****WARNING BEYOND THIS BAD LANGUAGE IS USED******



So I think he thinks I am stupid- well he said I was stupid and crazy because I didn't believe his story about a text message he got. I mean come on would you?

Assessment is big in nursing- you observe, you look for subtle changes in behaviors to signify problems. You notice patterns and changes in patterns. You notice verbal and nonverbal cues.

Of course my skills at observation and lie detecting didn't begin with nursing school, they began the day I gave birth to my daughter. They evolved over years of parenting and marriage. I have not been blind for 12 years to the norms of what he does and doesn't do. Wives notice the little things- especially when they are gone.

So if you get text messages that you refuse to look at when I am standing there, at times I am not normally there with you, I will notice something is up.

If you spend the afternoon, texting on your phone, outside doing chores, you NEVER freaking do. I will notice. Especially if you scream at me for asking you a question like, " Dan said your friend's Mom was in the hospital... who?" Um.. yeah I've known you for 20 years- I know your friends too.

If you get text messages first thing in the morning every morning.. I notice. So when you get one at 4am right after the time change ( 5 am you usually leave the house) Someone may have forgotten you wouldn't be awake just yet.

Are you surprised that when I get up to read it- Because my mind is screaming " GIRL YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS!!" And the words staring back at me are "I Love you!"

I WILL FUCKING NOTICE!! & Just cuz you changed the name from the girl spelling of the name to the guy spelling of the name- don't think I am a fucking idiot that I will not make the connection to the same fucking number that sent the same text to you from the girl spelling of the name a month ago!

Especially when this all started on Facebook- yeah we all notice you quickly close the fucking chat window when anyone is walking by. Stupid you doesn't know that even though you have changed your password on Facebook, I can still see who your friends are. Yup and I will notice that the girl spelling of the name contains the last name- of the guy spelling and initial you put on your FUCKING PHONE!!!

Now come on folks.... am I just being paranoid?

An Emotional affair is still an affair!! I know how these things can progress.

I just have no idea what to do at this point about it!!!

Check This Out!!!

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok I am not really the emotional basket case I may seem like sometimes. I am not one to cry at sad movies or moments of joy. But when I opened the AZBON website and saw my name there with a Lic # I burst into tears!!

NCLEX Demise...

Yeah I think I totally failed that and I am not kidding. Every single question was either a Select All that Apply, Priority or a Drug I have never heard of other than Lasix.

I know 3 for a fact I got wrong because I looked them up and they were exactly wrong!

I f'd up so bad!!!! I can't believe this!!!

Find out tomorrow I guess... < tears >

The Nerve

Of some people...

So generally these online classes are pretty lenient about due dates and such, as long as everything is in at a pretty normal relation to the due date. IE.. so as not to make too much work on the lazy ass instructor who does nothing but bulk generate an email once a week, which of course isn't even new. It's probably been reused for every freaking section. I wonder how much these people get paid... but I digress. So I thought ok a two day extension would be no big deal. I have taken many classes with these fools before and they have always been pretty nice about it. It's due on Monday I can ask to turn it in on Wed. Right? Wrong!

Her response was, "That an Exam is just not an acceptable excuse."

Well yes of course if it were a normal EXAM. It's not like I was asking because I need to take a freaking Math test or something. Normal and NCLEX have nothing in common.

Obviously someone who has never heard of a test that gets harder the more questions you answer correctly would have no idea the amount of stress and pressure I am under and the amount of studying this takes.

Who the hell can care about the Atomic Mass vs. the atomic number of random shit like BEANS when my future is at stake here!

Whatever.. I did the damn Lab Report ( Thank God it was easy and I could look up everything on Google)

So now for lunch then off to the bookstore for my last 5 hour review and respite from the tension around here.

Apparently the bookstore is my happy place and I never realized it. I mean I spent 5 hours there yesterday and really didn't even notice it, until I started getting shaking hands and a really fuzzy feeling in my brain that meant it was way past time to eat!

Ah Sunday...

Realizations suck.

A BP that is hovering in the 180's sucks.

Chemistry sucks.

Microbiology sucks.

The makers of NCLEX suck.

Chores suck!

The scale sucks.

Airlines suck.

Distance sucks.

Bills suck.

Having no "real" job sucks.

Men suck.


Ahhhh... I bet you get the picture.

Escaped

So since I was going crazy, couldn't concentrate, and was getting proceedingly pissed at my husband, for all the shit he's not doing and for what I think he is doing... I just had to escape from the madness that is brewing in my head.

So I got in the car and drove the 25 miles into town at 7pm on a Friday night to escape.

So while drinking coffee and studying from a "borrowed" NCLEX book of questions at Border's Bookstore Cafe, I had the opportunity to catch an odd scene I was not expecting.

What I want to know though is this, is the bookstore the place to pick up men or something? There was this chick dressed up in what I assume was one of her sexiest dresses and some pretty high "fuck me" pumps posing by the magazine section. You know that lean a little, point your toe, check out my boobs and legs kinda pose?

With the amount of people in there, I soon turned up the MP3 and settled in. 3 Systems and 1 practice Comprehensive test later, it was nearly 11 and time to go.

I've been getting 85% on my Comprehensive tests... I sure hope that's a good sign!

NCLEX freak out

Only a few more days until the BIG TEST. I am trying to study, to rest, & to get rid of the headache induced by the hypertension r/t the super test anxiety that I have right now! Man I could use a Xanax or two right now!

Today's creations

Strawberry Shortcake Torte & for my son since he does not like fruit... Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake.

A love Guru says...

"I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you" is a
cop out. It basically means that I have no clue
how to make a relationship last LONG-TERM so I'm
exiting to get high from another short-term
romance. But whoever they're IN LOVE with now
will also eventually hear, "I love you, but I'm
not IN LOVE with you."

So then...

When a person says, "I love you, but I'm not IN
LOVE with you," they're saying that I CARE about
you but I'm not EXCITED about you.

CARING about someone is a good thing. It's
reflective of CONCERN. But it's different than
love. I care about the starving children in
Africa, but I don't love them.

Being EXCITED about someone is also a good thing.
But it's different than love. I might be excited
to have a relationship with the President of the
United States or a Hollywood star, but that
doesn't mean I love them.

However in truth....

Love is something we articulate in the vocabulary
of ACTION. Love is a verb. It's not a feeling you
get from another PERSON; it's an experience you
receive as a result of DEEDS YOU DO for another
person.

(Mort Fortel)

My epiphany... I have said these words recently, I have not used my love as an action verb ( well except for in Vegas...lol ), so.... where to go from here... when there are two of you in the equation and 1 + 1 still = 1?

One can only hope!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1jYllE0T-k&NR=1

3 Pitfalls to Be Aware of When You’re a Student Mom

*** This is a guest post- I am posting it because I totally agree!! ***


3 Pitfalls to Be Aware of When You’re a Student Mom

When you’re balancing two of the most difficult jobs in the world – being a mom as well as a student – you’re bound to find the going tough. But because you’re determined to plod on, you try your best to be a good mother and an equally good student. There will be times when you slip up, but if you’re aware of the pitfalls that line the path, you’re likely to find the going easier. So if you’re a student mom who’s juggling your home, your little ones and your education, here are a few pitfalls that you must be wary of:

•The food trap: Most student moms are guilty of this one – you’re stressed out by lessons and assignments on one side and running behind your kids on the other. So you tend to turn to food for comfort and as a way to de-stress. You also begin to neglect your personal health, and with the extra calories you consume in the form of ice cream and pizzas, your weight begins to shoot up. The solution to this problem is to be aware of what you eat and not use food as a comfort mechanism. Find other ways to relax – exercise usually works wonders in boosting your mental and physical health.

•The procrastination trap: The trouble with assignments and preparing for exams is that they usually come with a deadline. And just when you think that you have all the time in the world, they sneak up on you and you find yourself burning the midnight oil to catch up. But with kids around, you can never be too sure that last-minute preparations are going to be possible, so you may end up failing to submit your assignment on time or even failing your exam. The key to being a successful student mom is to use your free time to complete your assignments and prepare a little for your exams. Yes, they may be a few months away, but when you study a little every day, you don’t have to cram at the end.

•The neglect trap: Some moms get so caught up in their student life that they end up neglecting their families in their pursuit of an education. While your kids and spouse may understand this attitude, it’s up to you to ensure that you don’t go overboard on one side while neglecting the other. You’re both a mom and a student, so don’t neglect your kids for your lessons or vice versa. It’s best to coordinate your schedule with that of your kids – study when they’re at school or doing their homework and make sure that your free time and theirs coincide. This way, you get the best of both worlds.
By-line:
This guest post is contributed by Amy S. Cook, who writes on the topic of LVN to RN Amy welcomes your comments at her email id: amy11s.cook@gmail.com .

T minus 10...

My mind is so scattered, I have stupid classes I don't care about. What is with this weird Chemistry math and why on earth do I need to know this shit? On the other hand, all I can think about is the need to pass this test and finally getting a Nursing job! What sucks is all the places that I want to work are hiring now. I really hope they are hiring when I pass NCLEX! I really hope I PASS!! Fingers, toes and anything else crossed I can think of, because I realized that I really suck at select all that apply questions!

On the home front... well, not much change there. There are some things that have come up that are really bothering me, used to be "deal breaker" type of things. I am not sure how I want to progress at this point. So we will see how this year goes.

Diet is kinda stalled... too much stress right now and a scale that won't budge is adding to it. I will jump back on that challenge as soon as I get through NCLEX! I think I may need to call Jenny Craig for a structured food plan or something. Who knows?

Nothing

Not much going on. I've just been concentrating on studying. Still trying to get in my 30 day challenge, but not obsessing about it right now because NCLEX needs to be the focus right now and the rest will need to work itself out. I must admit that I really am not giving my all to my current classes and only managed an 89% on my easy Health Information Class, because I just could not focus enough to complete a project with the care and research it should have taken. But at this point a B is SAP and that's Ok. So I have 3 classes left in progress. I still an A ( which I am sure I'll finish with a B)in Philosophy, and in Chemistry I have a C and Micro I have a C. Micro is only so low because of the Citing on the Essay ( but I have fixed that issue), although I did have a quiz I totally bombed! Probably should have read the book a bit.

So I have a date night tomorrow night to see Gretchen Wilson at Toby Keith's "I love this Bar & Grille". I am also taking my son & nephew out tomorrow afternoon to Amazing Jake's. Its like a Chuck-E-Cheese, for older kids. This will be the first time he is tall enough to drive the go-carts. We haven't been since last year this time. But bowling, mini-golf, laser tag and mindless video games, along with amazing food is a nice break too!

set back

So I don't feel that well right now. Not sick... just blah! Which is pretty much the start of a new wave of situational depression hitting again. I think it is because I have been pretty much trapped in the house & it just is not a productive way for me to maintain my teetering emotional state at this point.

So not much to report right now... still plugging along, trying to keep up with the exercise plan, and seeing no results right now on the scale = frustrated! Time for a trip to the doctor, because it is defiantly related to my PCOS and my hormonal imbalance I think... or stress!

Marriage...well its still a work in progress... he's been having to work a lot this week so we really haven't talked and I don't know much more than that.

I've been studying mostly for the NCLEX and trying to just get through these crappy classes as I go. Resolved that I may need to take them again in person at this point, but hoping to get through with a C anyway. I will hit the tutors toward the midterm so that I can try and pull it out. I think I get my financial aide once my classes finish with SAP in June. ( Satisfactory Academic Progress )Which kinda sucks cuz I'd really like that money now.

yet another charger died

Ok so this is getting old, but of course I have to blame the puppy on this one because he ate it the same day I brought it home... and now its totally broken. Which is not good because there is no extra money right now!

Suck It!

I HATE CHEMISTRY & MICROBIOLOGY!! I especially hate the fact that I took these stupid classes in an online format that is so f'd up. I will be lucky if I will be able to pull a D out of my butt- let alone a C... at this point I have no care for my GPA- as they are transfer credits and don't count anyway... I just need to pass to get my student loan money and I'll repeat them in a classroom at this point!

For 1 thing its random, for another I have to cite in essay questions, including ones for the midterm and final- um apparently how the heck am I supposed to remember the exact citation crap on a test without being able to have the info with me?

For another thing- I can't concentrate on this crap!!


My NCLEX is in 22 days!

Cat in the Hat

Or rather- walked right through the door. After a year and two months our cat "Baby" returned!