This last couple of days have actually been nice in a way. I have been able to reconnect with family and haven't had to deal with the actual loss yet. Funeral and Wake are Monday and Tuesday. At which time this trip will start to suck again.
My emotions are really on the brink right now. I have that perpetual lump in the throat, every little thing brings the tears to the surface, which I refuse to shed yet, and to top it all off I am having panic attacks.
Mostly the panic attacks were due to driving on these tiny streets again. Wow driving here in the dark sucks! Az's wide open can see for miles streets are a whole new world compared to the cramped and winding, can't see the sky through the trees, pot holed filled streets of New England.
Oh and my asthma had flared up with a vengeance!
So yeah I love and miss my family sooo much... but Massachusetts is not a good place for me to live anymore.
I'll be thinking of you today.
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