Sunday, March 1, 2020

No longer a nurse....

I had to have major surgery in April of 2019. Nearly a year later and I haven’t been able to return to work.  I’m on the fence on if I’m disabled or not. It’s a battle with denial really.   My brain is in denial that this is my new reality. I worked really hard to be a RN but never really liked anything about it, except maybe the paycheck.

I have three adopted medically fragile children. I still provide nursing care to them. I just can’t be paid for it. But in reality because they are mine I’m not on the liability side if something goes wrong. Ie I have limited feeling in my hands and my fine motor skills are effectively shit. With other people an accidental pinch or weird grab is a bit more serious. I also can’t do CPR compressions, any type of phlebotomy or IV insertion, and looking down for longer than 10 seconds is impossible.   But I’ve trach changed, gtube feed, med administration, and straight cathed my kids.

So now what?  I’m still looking for a less hands on nursing job. We shall see. I’m just not ready to no longer be a nurse.... mostly because I know that I never was in the nursing field I wanted to ever be in.

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