Thursday, March 25, 2010

No Rest for the Weary...

So onto the job search. Of course that is easier said then done. Plus I still have classes right now and RN school applications to worry about.

Not to mention a marriage hovering precariously over the toilet.


So I think he thinks I am stupid- well he said I was stupid and crazy because I didn't believe his story about a text message he got. I mean come on would you?

Assessment is big in nursing- you observe, you look for subtle changes in behaviors to signify problems. You notice patterns and changes in patterns. You notice verbal and nonverbal cues.

Of course my skills at observation and lie detecting didn't begin with nursing school, they began the day I gave birth to my daughter. They evolved over years of parenting and marriage. I have not been blind for 12 years to the norms of what he does and doesn't do. Wives notice the little things- especially when they are gone.

So if you get text messages that you refuse to look at when I am standing there, at times I am not normally there with you, I will notice something is up.

If you spend the afternoon, texting on your phone, outside doing chores, you NEVER freaking do. I will notice. Especially if you scream at me for asking you a question like, " Dan said your friend's Mom was in the hospital... who?" Um.. yeah I've known you for 20 years- I know your friends too.

If you get text messages first thing in the morning every morning.. I notice. So when you get one at 4am right after the time change ( 5 am you usually leave the house) Someone may have forgotten you wouldn't be awake just yet.

Are you surprised that when I get up to read it- Because my mind is screaming " GIRL YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS!!" And the words staring back at me are "I Love you!"

I WILL FUCKING NOTICE!! & Just cuz you changed the name from the girl spelling of the name to the guy spelling of the name- don't think I am a fucking idiot that I will not make the connection to the same fucking number that sent the same text to you from the girl spelling of the name a month ago!

Especially when this all started on Facebook- yeah we all notice you quickly close the fucking chat window when anyone is walking by. Stupid you doesn't know that even though you have changed your password on Facebook, I can still see who your friends are. Yup and I will notice that the girl spelling of the name contains the last name- of the guy spelling and initial you put on your FUCKING PHONE!!!

Now come on folks.... am I just being paranoid?

An Emotional affair is still an affair!! I know how these things can progress.

I just have no idea what to do at this point about it!!!


  1. Oh no honey! Unfortunately, it does seem like all the signs are there. And it is blatently obvious what is going on. I am so sorry that he is dumb enough to think you are that naive. I know you were having some problems in your marriage but I never knew that it involved something like this. I don't have much to offer from across cyberspace other than tons and tons of ((HUGS)) and to let you know you are in my thoughts.

  2. Oh, and good luck on the job search. I hope you are able to find something quickly. When will RN school start for you?

  3. If all goes well I could start RN as soon as AUG... but I think it'll be more like Jan.

    & Thanks!!

  4. Dude... I would be going nuts! My stomach is in knots just reading this... ugghhhh. You are living my worst nightmare :( I really feel for you. I am so sorry about all this going on... this is extra stress you do NOT need right now. Dammit.

    going to email you...

  5. Dang girl, that's just all messed up.
    You're in my thoughts...